


A Place To Belong

by gabronwrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha!Daichi, Angst, Blood, Dubious Consent, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I think?, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pack AU, Pack Dynamics, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Self-Hatred, Serious Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Tsukishima is in a pretty bad place at the start but things get better, abo elements/inspiration, background daisuga, curse words, i have plans for them but idk if it will be in this fic or in a follow up onem, idk if the other first years are going to be in this or not, im not sure where the line between minor/serious is for injuries so just to be safe, karasuno is basically a big polyamorous super relationship, like they are all in an open relationship with eachother, self directed ableist language, side suga/tsukki, side tsukki/daichi, slowly but surely, the teams are packs, tsukkiyama is the main focus of this fic tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2018-11-02 10:52:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10942998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabronwrites/pseuds/gabronwrites
Summary: Tsukishima Kei has long known that the alpha of his former pack was not a good person. But that is the way of things, and he isn't strong or smart or valuable enough to find a position in a better pack.Everyone has their limits though.Cast out from his old pack he must now find a new way forward with the help and support of friends, new and old.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I’ve tried to be thorough with the tagging but this fic is only vaguely planned so I will likely need to add more as we go, and if there is anything I’ve left off please let me know. 
> 
> With regards to the A/B/O stuff: there’s a lot of things I find appealing about A/B/O au’s, but there’s also a lot of stuff I don’t like about it. I’m going to be picking and choosing what stuff I want to include and what stuff I don’t, so if you are looking for a fic that really follows A/B/O stuff you should probably find another fic. 
> 
> With regards to the underage tag, I don’t believe at this time that I am going to specify ages for any of the characters but since a lot of them are underage in the canon I figured I would use that tag just to be safe. Imagine them whatever ages float your boat.
> 
> And as always with my fics, this is a reminder that my fics contain the content I tag for. Letting me know I missed a tag or made some other tagging mistake is 100% welcome, complaining that my fics contain the content I tagged them as having is not. If it’s not your cup of tea, don’t read it. Tags will be added to ongoing fics so be sure to check with each update if that is a concern for you. 
> 
> Ah, that’s all the warnings/disclaimer things I can think of for the moment. Please let me know if you have any questions. Hope you enjoy.

If there is one thing that Tsukishima Kei is sure of in this moment, it’s that he is a dumbass. And now he’s going to die because of it. He feels like he should be more upset about that. 

It’s difficult to feel anything past the pain, though. It’s radiating through his whole body now, and he’s no longer really sure where exactly he’s injured. It feels like everywhere. 

His blood steams in the cold air, and he watches as it melts little holes in the snow beneath the park bench he’s sitting on. His bare feet burn from the cold. 

He didn’t think to grab shoes or a coat before he left, because grabbing shoes before running off into a snowstorm would have been smart, and as already established he is a dumbass.

He doesn’t feel cold though. He knows it’s just because of the adrenaline and injuries, putting his circulatory system into overdrive and making him feel warm even though it’s freezing out and he’s only dressed in some old jeans and a thin t shirt. He feels like he’s burning though, and it makes the untouched snowbanks across the little park path from him tempting. 

They look soft, he thinks. 

He’ll die of exposure if he does that though. Then again, he’s going to die regardless so maybe it’d be better to just get it over with. 

Even if he somehow manages to survive the night and not die of exposure or his injuries, somehow manages not to get killed by whichever pack owns this territory he’s wandered into, there’s no future for him. He has no pack now. And no one’s going to want to take in a useless waste of resources like him. No one even half decent anyway.

He could maybe find another alpha like Kane. One that doesn’t care how useless you are as long as you shut up and let him and the other higher ups in the pack use you, whatever way they want. But only if he manages to get far enough away from here. Not even the lowlifes would take him in locally, his ass isn’t worth much and definitely not making Kane angry. 

He doesn’t think he’d mind being used like that again. He feels like he should care, he would have… once… now though… he knows it’s just the way of things. 

But… 

He can still see the dead-eyed acceptance on Yamaguchi’s already bruised face when Kane had chosen him for the night. Again. 

It makes his stomach turn.

He doesn’t want to see that again.

For so long, he’d just done nothing. He knew what Kane was like. What all of them were like. It wouldn’t have been the first time Kane had used a plaything till it broke. But tonight, Kei hadn’t been able to stand it anymore. The doing nothing. 

He can’t go back to that kind of life. He’d rather die.

He tries to gather his thoughts enough to make his limbs work. At least if he’s going to die, he might as well die comfortably in the soft looking snow banks. But his thoughts are already sluggish, and his body doesn’t seem to want to listen.

He’s surprised by a weight on his shoulder. He tries to turn his head and look but it feels so heavy. When he does manage to lift his head his vision blurs, and he catches only a glimpse of what he thinks might be a person before his vision spins into darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh i meant to get this out yesterday but i forgot. My bad. Hope you all enjoy and thank you to everyone who left a review.

Kei’s pretty sure he’s died and gone to heaven. Which doesn’t make sense because in what fucked up world does he deserve to go to heaven.

His eyes are still closed and he can’t really figure out how to open them, but he’s laying somewhere warm and soft. He can’t remember ever laying on anything this comfortable. 

His whole body feels heavy and weightless at the same time, it’s a weird feeling but it’s not painful. For some reason he feels like there should be pain. He can’t remember why though.

Before he can try to figure it out, he slips back into unconsciousness. 

 

\-------

 

When he wakes up again, he still can’t figure out how to move. There are voices this time though. They seem close, but he can’t make out what they’re saying. 

They don’t sound angry, but he’s still scared. 

Unconsciousness claims him again despite his racing heart.

 

\----------

 

There’s pain this time. He’s weirdly relieved to feel it. He hurts all over, but the worst seems to be coming from his dominant hand and his head. Oh and breathing. Breathing hurts a lot. 

The voices are back, so he doesn’t try to move, instead he tries to figure out what they are saying. 

Just one voice this time, he notes. He doesn’t recognize the voice, which eases some of the tension in his chest. Whoever it is, they seem to be talking to themselves quietly. He still can’t make out all the words, but what he does catch seems to be just notes about supplies. 

“…need to order more…” 

“good on bandages…”

“…pain meds…”

So where ever he is, they’ve been using their medical supplies to take care of him. It’s probably why he woke up the first two times without being in pain. 

This is not good.

He doesn’t even know who they are or where he is and he already owes them. 

Owing people is how they control you. Make you do things you don’t want to do. They wouldn’t have taken such good care of him if they knew what kind of person he is, how useless he is. They probably thought he was someone usefull because he’s so tall. People make that mistake sometimes. When they find out they were wrong, they’ll be angry. 

He needs to be out of here by then.

He tries to test his ability to move by trying to just move his fingers slightly, he manages it which is a good sign, but the motion sends pain shooting through his body. It causes a gasp he doesn’t quite manage to stifle. This draws the attention of the voice. 

“Oh, is the pain back?” The voice says, closer and clearer now. A cool hand presses gently against his forehead. “Hmm... no fever... that’s good at least.”

Kei doesn’t know what to do. The person doesn’t seem to know he’s awake. He doesn’t know where he is, or what sort of situation is waiting for him outside of the quiet room he’s in. With his injuries, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to get out of here currently. He only managed to escape Kane and the others because the adrenaline had worked as a temporary pain killer. 

Continuing to pretend to be asleep could buy him more time to figure out a plan, but he thinks whatever pain meds they are giving him are making him sleep. Sleeping isn’t going to help him figure things out.

The hand comes back, on his jaw this time. Fingers poke and pry, trying to work his mouth open. A snarl forms in his throat before he has a chance to stop it. The hand jerks back, out of range of his teeth.

“Are you awake?” The voice asks. 

Fuck.

Caught, he opens his eyes, blinking against the sunlight coming in from a nearby window. He feels ashamed and frustrated with himself, but he tries to focus. Take stock of the situation, figure out an exit plan.

The voice belongs to a person with soft looking grey hair, sitting in a rolling desk chair a few feet away. 

“You are awake.” The person says, they look frustrated and it fills Kei with apprehension. They school their features into a smile after a moment, but it just makes Kei more nervous.

“I was just trying to give you some more pain medicine. Your injuries are still pretty severe even though we’ve tried to patch you up as best as we can.” The person says. “But now that you’re awake you can take them yourself.”

They try to hand Kei some pills. But he’s already lost what little advantage being awake when they didn't know he was could have offered him, he can’t afford to go back to sleep. Who knows what kind of situation he might wake up in next. 

On the other hand if he refuses to take the pills it might make them upset. They don’t look particularly dangerous, but this is a pack home. He can smell it. There are no doubt others nearby. Not that he is in any position to manage to fight anyone right now.

Apparently he deliberates too long because the person’s extended hand closes around the pills again and they bring their arm back closer to their body.

“You don’t want the medicine?” They ask. Kei shakes his head ‘no’.

“Are you sure? It’s just pain meds.” They ask again.

“I’m sure.” Kei manages to say. His throat is dry and his voice comes out raspy from disuse. He wonders how long he has been out.

They hand him a glass of water from a nearby desk. He tries not to be obvious about sniffing it before taking a sip.

“Okay.” They say with a frown. “If you change your mind let me know.”

They set the pills in a dish on the desk.

“My name is Sugawara. But everyone calls me Suga.” They say. “I am a member of the Karasuno pack. We’re at the pack house now, some of our members found you in a park while on a patrol.”

Karasuno. He’d gotten farther away then he had realized. 

He’s heard of Karasuno. They were pretty strong when he was a kid, so they were pretty well known in the region. He’d heard they’d been on a decline for a while now though. 

What they hope to gain from him he’s not sure. He’s got nothing of value to offer, even to a pack like this. 

“Tsukishima. No pack.” He says. His voice comes out a little easier this time.

“Well Tsukishima, it’s nice to meet you.” Sugawara says with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re still enjoying. Kudos/reviews/name suggestions appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added a title, still not very satisfied with it, but I figure it’s better than nothing.  
> Hope everyone is doing well, thank you for reading!

Kei meets many of the other members of the Karasuno Pack over the next few days. Including the alpha Sawamura. Sawamura and the others all seem nice enough, but he knows better than to trust such things.

Once upon a time Kane had seemed nice too.

He spends most of his time with Sugawara though. Which isn’t too bad. Sugawara doesn’t seem to expect too much from Kei, and if he’s bothered by Kei’s silence or uneasy behavior he doesn’t show it. 

Kei spends those first few days entirely in the room he woke up in, and the attached bathroom. It seems to be a sick room of some sort, in addition to being an office for Sugawara. It’s also where they keep their medical supplies. 

Other than Sawamura and Sugawara, none of the other members officially come to the room to see him. The other pack members he meets, he meets because they come to the room for medical supplies or to have an injury looked at by Sugawara. He can’t be sure, but it does seem that some may be inventing ailments to get into the room to see him. He thinks maybe they have orders not to come in the room unless it’s needed, and they seem curious.

Karasuno definitely has better medical supplies and care then Kane’s pack has. Which he supposes isn’t too difficult considering medical care was practically non existent in Kane’s pack and what little there was was reserved for only the higher ranking members.

He can't really be sure of the ranking of Karasuno’s members, but he’s sure at least some of the ones he’s seen so far must be lower ranking members. Yet they still seem to have the same access to the medical supplies.

That eases at least some of the worry he has over them using their medical supplies on him. It still means he owes them, which he doesn’t like, but at least it means that they don’t view it as as much of a big deal as it would have been if Kane had used medical supplies on a person.

He still knows nothing about the layout of the rest of the house, which makes planning an escape difficult. There is the window in the room though. It looks out into a snow covered backyard. He thinks he could get through the window probably, but the yard is fenced in by a high wooden fence he isn’t sure he can scale in his current condition and he can't see enough of the yard to know if there is a gate.

He also doesn’t know how easy it would be for anyone in the house or yard to pursue him, and he never knows how many people are in or around the house at a given time.

It’d be comforting to have a better exit plan, but he’s still isn’t sure where he would go even if he did escape. None of his options have any appeal.

No one brings up making him join the pack, or how he is expected to pay them back for all of this, but he’s sure it’s coming eventually.

\----

Most nights he dreams that he is back at the old house, with Kane. He dreams of being found by them. He dreams he never left. He dreams of Yamaguchi’s face, and of a time back when he had been in Yamaguchi’s place. He had been lucky. His inability to hold his tongue and an early and fast growth spurt had meant that he had quickly outgrown the alpha’s attentions. 

Short as it was, that time lingers with him. Haunting the back corners of his mind where he tried to bury those memories.

Sometimes he dreams about when he first met Kane. Summertime. A local park. The warmth of Kane’s approval, the thrill of leaving his parent’s pack behind. 

He had wanted so desperately then to be on his own, to test himself outside of the sheltered harbor of his family’s pack. Kane had delivered on that, if nothing else. 

He finds some sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet. When he takes them, he doesn’t dream. 

If Sugawara notices the missing inventory, he doesn’t comment.

\----

Eventually his injuries are deemed healed enough for him to be allowed into the rest of the house. Kei hadn’t realized that was what the hold up was. Karasuno must be very confident that he’s not a threat to let an unbonded stranger wander their pack house unattended. It clearly makes a few of their pack members uncomfortable, but Sugawara insists that it’s fine.

He considers leaving. 

But he has nowhere else to go. So he stays.

\---

He tries not to think about Yamaguchi. 

They weren’t friends, he reminds himself. They aren’t family. They aren’t even packmates anymore.

The consequences Yamaguchi was no doubt dealt as a result of Kei’s reckless behaviour weighs on him still. He hopes, somewhat selfishly, that his rebellion garnered Yamaguchi at least one night of respite from Kane’s attentions.

There’s nothing he can do. He’s no one. He has no one. He’s weak and dumb and packless.

Still, the guilt eats at him.

\---

He can’t really make sense of Karasuno’s structure and hierarchy. 

Sawamura is the alpha, he can smell that. But he’s not sure why. Sawamura isn’t the biggest or strongest member of the pack, that would be Azumane, and there isn’t any significant age gap between him and the rest of the pack like with Kane and his pack, so he must have some other means of keeping his position. It makes Kei uneasy to not know what that means is.

Sugawara seems to be high ranking, but Kei’s not sure if it is because of his medical knowledge or if maybe it has more to do with Sawamura’s scent lingering on him in a way that can only mean one thing. 

Azumane too seems to be high ranking, which makes sense to Kei. Azumane seems to be one of the ones who is uneasy around him, so Kei mostly steers clear.

There is a girl as well, Shimizu, who seems to be one of the higher ranking members of the pack. He’s again not sure why, or what function she serves in the pack. She doesn’t seem to speak much, but when she does they listen. Better even, sometimes, then they listen to Sawamura. 

The rest he can’t place in any sort of order. He’s not sure if Karasuno is just really relaxed with their rankings, or if they are making an effort to hide them from him for some reason.

\----

Karasuno’s members come and go from the house as they go about their day to day lives, and he watches. There are always some of them around, but most leave him be. When he isn’t with Sugawara, he wanders the house, mapping it in his brain. Preparing escape plan after escape plan.

He’s not even sure why. Karasuno is making no effort to make him stay. He’s not really sure why he doesn’t just go.

The first floor contains Sugawara’s office, another office space that he is told is Sawamura’s but that he sees used most by Shimizu, one large bathroom, in addition to the small ensuite off of Sugawara’s office, a laundry room with several washing machines, and a large kitchen, dining room, and living room.

He counts windows and doors. 

The second floor of the house is a large open sleeping room which it seems they all share, though Kei is allowed to continue to sleep on the bed in Sugawara’s office. He’s heard of other packs living like this; it’s the more traditional way of pack living, especially for packs without any kids. Kane had prefered to have his pack house be a more western style with separate bedrooms. At least for the high ranking members, the rest of them had just been expected to find places around the house to sleep. Unless ordered to join a higher ranking member in their bedroom that is.

All of the finishes and furniture seem nice and in good repair.

He was never included in financial discussions in Kane’s pack, and he isn’t here either, but if Karasuno doesn’t have more money then Kane’s pack then they certainly allocate it very differently.

He doesn’t know how Karasuno gets its income. Kane’s pack mostly made money by stealing, and by selling black market goods. Sugawara could probably earn a decent income with his medical skill, but if he does it’s not something that is mentioned to Kei. The pack has a fairly large garden in the front yard, currently empty for the winter, but he can't imagine it produces enough for that much of a profit.

Yet they must have some money from something. He wonders if maybe that is why Sawamura is the alpha, if maybe he keeps his position by having the wealth to pay for the pack’s needs. But if that is the case, again it’s not something they tell him.

He has no problem with them not telling him these things. He’s not a member of their pack, he’s not a friend of theirs, or any of their family.

Still the pack lets him stay. They let him sleep in their bed, eat their food, use their resources. Sugawara even bought him some clothes when it was made clear none of the clothes the pack already had would fit him properly. Everyone but Azumane wears clothes that are too short for him, and Azumane’s are too big. He’s not sure when the last time he had new clothes was. Before he joined Kane’s pack at least.

And still they ask nothing of him. It makes him increasingly uneasy, but still he doesn’t leave.

He has nowhere else to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments/kudos appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo what up. Sorry for the long gap between chapters. Probably best to expect more of those. Thanks everyone who’s stuck it out this far.

The gentle brush of a hand against his forehead surprises him, but he recognizes Sugawara’s smell before his eyes adjust enough to the bright afternoon sunlight to see him standing above him.

He’s laying on a bench in the backyard, wrapped up in the coat that Sugawara had given him, and he must have fallen asleep at some point because he didn’t notice Sugawara approach. 

That’s been happening a lot lately. The accidental naps in weird places in the middle of the day. He tries to just chalk it up to being used to having to grab any sleep he can get wherever and whenever he can get it and having a new abundance of free time and comfortable places to sleep but it unsettles him nonetheless. 

He sits up to one side of the bench so Sugawara can sit if he wants. He does. Their legs brush slightly. 

He’s not sure how long he’s been at Karasuno’s house, hasn’t been keeping track, and while everyone has been nice enough to him, Sugawara is the only one who seems comfortable touching him. Some, like Azumane and Tanaka, have never tried. Others, like Sawamura and the excitable Nishinoya, had tried once and then never again after he reacted negatively. 

Sugawara had been persistent. 

It no longer startles him so much when Sugawara touches him casually and his instinctive negative reactions happen less and less.

He knows it's dumb to trust someone just because they are nice to you, but he finds himself more and more comfortable around Sugawara despite his best efforts to remain indifferent. Caring gets you hurt, gets you killed. And he doesn’t want to cause any trouble by seeming to be too close with the Alpha’s mate. 

Sugawara’s fingertips brush lightly against his neck, just below his scent glands. He’s caught by surprise, but manages not to flinch.

“They’re just going to keep getting agitated and infected if you keep not using them.” Sugawara tells him in a concerned tone. 

Once, his scent glands being red and crusty with disuse wouldn’t have embarrassed him. In Kane’s pack it wasn’t allowed for lower ranking members to scent mark anyone or anything, doing so even accidentally was a good way to get a beating. So it didn’t seem like anything to be embarrassed about, not when it meant not getting beat, not when there were so many others around the house looking the same. 

It’s not the same with Karasuno though. None of the members show signs of not using theirs. But he’s still not sure what the rules are. Everyday he is met with a confusing mix of smells from them, and he still can't make sense of the hierarchy or rules. It seems almost as if anyone may scent mark anyone, but that surely can’t be true. Anarchy like that would surely cause a pack to fall apart, and Karasuno seems fairly stable despite it’s fallen reputation.

“I could massage them for you if you would like?” Sugawara says, filling in the silence Kei left in the conversation.

His question fills Kei with dread. 

“No.” He says. 

Karasuno may be freer with such things then Kane’s pack but Kei isn’t a member of Karasuno and he does not want to put Sugawara in danger by having him smell like Kei.

Sawamura may be okay with his mate smelling like other pack members on occasion, it’s happened in the past and as far as Kei saw there was no punishment dealt for it, but he’s an outsider. Surely that will not be okay with the Alpha, no matter how level headed he has seemed since Kei has known him.

Sugawara is frowning at him.

“Why not?” He asks. 

Because I’m scared for you, Kei thinks but doesn’t say. Admitting that he cares what happens to Sugawara would be bad, he is sure. He can’t think of another thing to say though, so he just shrugs.

“I’ll be gentle.” Sugawara says. “And the towel is warm I promise.”

Kei eyes the washcloth in Sugawara’s hands and considers his options. At some point when he had first gotten there and been asleep for so long someone, probably Sugawara, had tended to his scent glands. 

This way would be fine right? He thinks. This way Sugawara won't smell too strongly of him, and only on his hands. Surely if it had gotten him in trouble last time, he wouldn't be offering it now.

He can only manage the slightest of nods, but Sugawara sees it.

Sugawara places a hand on Kei’s chin, gently guiding his face to a better position. He leaves his hand there, gently supporting, while he brings the washcloth up to Kei’s neck with the other. When he touches the soft towel to Kei’s scent gland he does so gently, with just the barest of a touch.

The sensation is still so intense it causes Kei to take a sharp intake of breath. 

There is some pain as Sugawara uses the towel to gently massage and clean Kei’s scent glands, but it is a relieved sort of pain. Like when you have been standing for a really long time and finally get to sit. 

With the pain is also pleasure. 

He had had some understanding that scent marking was a pleasant experience, Kane had certainly liked to do it plenty, but he had underestimated how good it could feel. It’s not something he’s ever done, at least not when he’s been conscious. 

It hadn’t been allowed in Kane’s pack, and he’d been with Kane since before his scent glands had developed in puberty.

Sugawara moves on to the other side, guiding Kei’s head with the hand on his chin. 

Kei’s eyes slip closed, he feels lost in the overwhelming sensations.

The brush of something other than the towel against his scent gland startles him, but also feels impossibly better than the towel. He opens his eyes, but all he can see is Sugawara’s soft grey hair as he rubs his cheek against Kei’s scent gland again.

He should stop this. He doesn’t want to upset Sawamura, doesn’t want to put Sugawara in danger. But it feels so good. He feels incapable of doing anything but tremble under Sugawara’s gentle touch.

Sugawara nuzzles his nose against Kei’s neck, massaging the other side with his hand. 

“Hmm you smell good.” Sugawara says, lips brushing against Kei’s scent gland. It sends a shudder through him.

“S-Suga-” He manages to stutter out. They should stop. They’re going to get in trouble. He’s scared. He’s overwhelmed.

It feels so good.

“Suga-” Sawamura’s voice comes from the doorway as he steps out into the yard. Kei is on his feet before he even consciously has the thought that he needs to stand. He doesn’t look at Sawamura, not directly at least, and he tries to make himself as small and non threatening as possible. It’s not easy with how tall he is, but he also has a lot of practice.

“Um…” Sawamura stalls, looking between Kei and Sugawara as he no doubt pieces together what he just walked in on. He looks Kei over, but then his eyes settle on Sugawara who is now standing as well. He starts to move forward, eyes still on Sugawara. Kei moves in between Sugawara and Sawamura without thinking. 

Shit. Fuck. Why is he so goddamn dumb? 

This is just like what happened with Yamaguchi all over again and it’s all his fault because he’s dumb as fuck. He feels like he can’t breathe. 

Sawamura freezes in his movements, and his focus has shifted to Kei now. Kei’s not sure if he is more relieved that the focus is no longer on Sugawara or scared for himself.

Even if he survives whatever punishment Sawamura deals him, he won't survive the added weight of having put Sugawara in danger on his already laden conscious.

“Suga,” Sawamura says voice carefully level, glancing again at what he can see of Sugawara behind Kei. “everything okay out here?”

His voice is calm, his question completely non-confrontational, but it doesn’t slow Kei’s racing heart or convince him to lower his guard. He was just caught scent marking the alpha’s mate by the alpha himself.

There will be retaliation, he is sure of it.

“Yes” Sugawara says. His tone is also carefully calm as he moves closer, footsteps crunching in the snow. Now standing to Kei’s side, he puts a hand gently on Kei’s back. Kei manages to only flinch a little. “I was just helping Tsukishima with his scent glands.”

He wonders if Sugawara has no self preservation skills.

“Oh.” Sawamura says in that same artificial tone. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

Kei doesn’t believe him. He’s not sure what the point of lying about this would be but he is sure that what Sawamura said can’t be true. 

“It’s not his fault.” He blurts out, impulsively. Shit. Why is he like this. “I-it’s my fault. I’m sorry. I will take full responsibility.”

Somehow he manages to hear Sugawara sigh next to him over the roaring sound of his own heartbeat. Sawamura looks at him consideringly. 

“Ok” he says in that same tone. He glances again at Sugawara. “That’s fine. You’re both ok though?”

Kei feels very far from ok. 

“We’re good.” He hears Sugawara say. Sawamura looks at Kei expectantly. Kei manages something resembling a nod.

“Good. Then, that’s fine.” Sawamura says. “As long as everyone’s ok, no reason for any apologies. No harm done.”

He feels Sugawara leave his side and walk over to Sawamura. Sugawara seems unconcerned, but Kei sees the protective way Sawamura wraps an arm around his mate, the relief on his face as he nuzzles against soft grey hair.

“Suga and I have some things to talk about. Why don't you go inside?” Sawamura says. 

He still doesn’t seem angry, and Sugawara still doesn’t seem scared. Kei doesn’t want to make anything worse by disobeying the alpha but he’s still scared of what will happen to Suga if he leaves.

He sees, more than feels, his feet walking him down the short snow covered path back to the door leading into the laundry room. 

Once inside and the door shut he finds himself sitting on the floor in the gap between the washers and the corner, his long legs drawn up tightly to his chest. His view of the folding table’s legs and all the baskets of multicolored clothes blurs, but it isn’t until he feels the wetness on his shirt that he realizes he’s crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I am terribly sorry for leaving it there. Hope everyone is still enjoying. As always comments and kudos are very very appreciated.
> 
> My tumblr info has changed, i can be found at gabronwrites now.

**Author's Note:**

> A short one to start with, just because that seemed like a good cut off place. Hope you’re enjoying so far. Comments/kudos appreciated. <3
> 
> I have a bit more written for this already, as I have been working on it while recovering from an injury and unable to sit at my desk in order to edit/post. I think I have maybe 3? chapters so far. I’m not sure how i want to post them though. Part of me is tempted to just post them all right away but I also think it might be better to spread them out more so I have time to (hopefully) write more by the time I've posted what I already have. Thoughts/suggestions/opinions on the matter welcome. 
> 
> I really can't think of a title for this, suggestions welcome.


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